Throughout the ages, popular wisdom has told us
that money cannot buy happiness. As the below quotes illustrate, happiness has historically been seen as is a quality that
lies within us, or as something we can cultivate by proper thoughts, good deeds, and commitment to a worthy cause.
It is neither wealth nor splendor; but tranquility and occupation, which give you happiness.Thomas Jefferson
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.Helen Keller
Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.Dale Carnegie
Money Is an Unstable Resource
As a psychologist trained in Mindfulness and
Compassion approaches, I have experienced and seen how cultivating inner peace
and being accepted, heard, and understood can make people happier, regardless
of circumstances. Focusing too much on money, status, and external proof of our
worthiness can lead to anxiety and obsession, because these aspects of life are
not stable. We can be laid off, spend too much, lose our money in the stock market, or our house
can suddenly be worth a lot less. This can result in a loss of status if we
live in a community that overvalues these things. For many people, this
translates into a loss of self-esteem, anger, and questioning of the foundation
of their lives.
Money is a Necessary Evil
At the same time, living with little or no money
can result in tremendous suffering in today’s world. Government programs, such
as Social Security or Medicare are facing unprecedented crises and may no
longer buffer us in old age. Mergers, acquisitions, age discrimination, and outsourcing threaten
job stability. We do need to look after our money to provide us with resources
should we face unexpected life difficulties.
Making Money Involves Sacrifices
The relationship of money to happiness is complex
and complicated. We need to find a balanced attitude to money, rather than a
fear-based one. We also need to look carefully at what sacrifices we make to
earn money. How much do we sacrifice character, time with family, self-respect, or independence for our jobs?
Money & Therapy
The topic of money comes up with almost all of my
psychotherapy clients. The very act of entering psychotherapy involves spending
money to take care of ourselves, in the moment, rather than saving it for
long-term security. Yet the lessons we learn in therapy can help us structure
our lives and invest in ourselves so as to increase our overall psychological (and, sometimes, material) wealth, relationships, and quality of life.
In my latest Psychology Today post, I examine research from the Gallup organization and top universities to see whether money
buys happiness or depletes it. Read what I found out here.
If you live in Marin and are interested in my therapy services, read my profile and contact me via Psychology Today .
I am excited to announce that, in addition to my Mill Valley office, I now have an office in San Francisco at 4333 California Street.
"We need to find a balanced attitude to money, rather than a fear-based one."
ReplyDeleteI echo that, Melanie. We are constantly bombarded with immediate, and 'in your face' media and stimulus all day long. Each one telling us we should have their product, or be like them above all us.
If we can set all that aside, and realize we need to get past it we have a much better chance at having a better, and balanced perspective towards money.
And in-turn, a more balanced, and fulfilled life.
Great post, Melanie.
i love your article, its very interesting and i have learned a lot from it..we need to balanced everything in our life, our health is the most important thing in our life so we need to take care of it cause its God's gift for us..
ReplyDeletepsychology
i love it..we should learn to balance attitude to money.we cannot live without money cause without it we cannot eat..but we need to know our needs and wants cause life is very difficult if you don't know how to embrace it..be happy and do good for everyone else and for yourself
ReplyDeletepsychology
My opinion has always been that while money may not buy happiness, neither does lack of it.
ReplyDelete